MAA....

Today is my mom's third death anniversary. As a tribute to her I am dedicating this blog to her. It is not easy to sum up in few paragraphs the bond we shared, maybe just the essence of it.

" A mother is not to be compared with any other person - she is incomparable."  - African proverb.

Me and my mom, we both got close to each other only after my elder brother went to Hassan to study engineering. With dad working late most of the time, it was just us. I, myself had started attending college and was euphoric with the freedom the college life has to offer. So, I was still distracted from her and still took her for granted.

" When I stopped seeing my mother with the eyes of a child, I saw the woman who helped me give birth to myself."

Our real bonding happened after my marriage. It was then that I really started to respect her, her feelings and emotions. Mine was a love marriage which happened without the consent of each others' parents. It was my mom who was instrumental in bringing the families together.

Kaju Katli, the sweet is my weakness. So, whenever I was in Bengaluru, she made sure that a box of it was there for me to devour. Now, my son shares the same weakness for this King of Sweets. Remembering every one's birthday and wedding anniversaries, she would be the first person to wish them first thing in the morning. These little gestures of hers made everyone feel special.

"There is no friendship, no love, like that of the mother for the child."

We both had our mother-daughter moments. We both would usually lunch at a fast food joint in Gandhi Bazaar, ShivSagar (the old one). We both liked 'chats', after which we would order Pista milkshake. We always shared a glass of this. If not satisfied, which we never were, we would order another glass of Pista milkshake and still share it. We never used to order two separate shakes for each of us. Later, when she was in the hospital, she was being fed liquids through a food pipe and everyday it would be the porridge. One day, when I ask her if I should bring her the porridge, she made a face. Then, I asked her, "How about Pista milkshake?" Her face lighted up ! And it was Pista milkshake for her that day. It is ironic that I have not had Pista milkshake in these three years, never felt like it.

"It was when I had my first child that I understood how much my mother loved me."

My mom and my daughter, they were inseparable. Right from when she was a baby, my daughter slept with her granny. They were buddies, co-conspirators. They would go on talking and giggling late into the night so much so that my dad used to scold them for disturbing his sleep ! My mom had a stash of 'kisses' chocolate in the refrigerator which they would eat in the middle of the night. She was always goofying with my kids, pampering them silly.

" No language can express the power and beauty and heroism of a mother's love."

When she was first diagnosed with ALS, there was a gradual reversal of roles. I don't know when and how this transition occured, but she turned to me for advice, comfort, strength, support, and to confide. Such was her unswerving trust in me. In fact, we used to draw strength from each other.
We were never demonstrative of our love and feelings in our family. Hugs were non-existent. But, with time I started hugging her and it further strenghtened our love. As her disease progressed, I used to visit her whenever the opportunity arose. And, when it was time for me to leave, we would hug and stare at each other with unshed tears, not knowing whether we will see each other again.

"A mother's love is like a circle, it has no beginning and no end. It keeps going around and around ever expanding, touching everyone who comes in contact with it. Engulfing them like the morning's mist, warming them like the noontime sun, and covering them like a blanket of evening stars."

Finally, I did get a chance to say goodbye to her, to say all those things which I otherwise had never told her. But, it is still difficult to let go completely.
My Mom - she was simple, warm, caring, beautiful (inside out), and lovable person. Even in her death, she gifted sight to two blind people. Had she known that all her other organs were just as fine, she would have donated them too. Her heart was worth dying for ! She touched so many lives.
I pray to God that I look good in the eyes of my children as my mom did in mine.

"There are men and women who make the world better by being the kind of people they are. They have the gift of kindness or courage or integrity or loyalty. It really matters very little whether they are behind the wheel of a truck or running a business or bringing up a family. They teach the truth by living it."

That was my Mom !