TEACHING VALUES

This blog is courtesy Nita, my friend, who visited us with her family a fortnight back. While we were talking  she asked me- “How do we teach values to our kids?” Today’s kids have many more advantages in life than what we had, more opportunities and they are much smarter than us when we were their age….all said and done, they lack values. This blog is not an answer to her question, because as a mother of two teenage kids, I too find it difficult sometimes to enforce some rules or to teach them some basic values.

When we were kids, our parents rarely indulged us. We could count the number on new dresses we got per year, why just dresses, it applies for everything else too. I did not have many toys, whatever was bought had to be shared between me and my brother. I had a favourite cute plastic doll which I loved. I did not have to share it. When I was in high school, my neighbor, a girl much younger to me had come to play with me. She took that doll with her and I did not have the courage to ask it back.” Anyway, you are too old to play with the doll” was all amma said.  Today, children have roomful of toys and yet they want more and we parents buy them more. My son always complains that we do not buy him a Wi, PS3 or an XBOX. We have to keep telling him that – “It is OK not to have everything. Look at the kids who do not have any thing and feel blessed for what you have."

 I cursed for having an elder brother who was just a year ahead academically and I had to do with ‘hand-me-downs’. I never bought new text books till I was in college. Thank god for making me a girl else, I would have to share the uniforms too!! We were taught to do our own stuff- ironing clothes, polishing our shoes, doing any other school work. The kids today do this stuff too, only when there is no absolute option. I felt like a Princess when I got my first pocket money in college. Moderation was a way of life.

 Prostrating before our elders, or touching their feet was so ingrained in us. We did not have to be told to do that every time some elderly people visited us. Today, when we ask our kids to do the same, they glare at us.

While talking to or addressing people who are socio-economically below the ladder than us, the kid’s use the ‘singular’, in spite of being repeated told not to do so. They feel offended if they are corrected in front of others.

 This is a tough one! Teaching today’s kids the value of money. The other day I gave my son a hug when he came home by bus from his cricket coaching class. With the rising fuel prices and our personal car drivers doing the disappearing acts every now and then, kids need to learn the dependability of a public transport…they are safe and reliable.

Gratitude is expressed only when something is received. Buy them the thing they want, and the “I love you’s “ and “Thank you’s” increase tenfold.  Otherwise, we have to remind them to say thanks. If I thank a rickshaw driver, my children ask me- “why did you thank him?” Well, for one, he brought me home safely, didn’t he?” Appreciating people doesn’t cost a penny.

Upbringing is a combination of everything…good values, good manners, good conduct, education, etiquette…these are the basic which we parents can offer our kids as their foundation. In the end everyone will turn out fine, but they can be better too.

P.S: Your feedback, suggestions and opinions are welcome.