IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO....

I was at loss of what to write for my blog when my hubby suggested that I write about the lives of wife’s of Cinematographers. OK, not a bad idea. Only that our lives reflect the lives of millions of women over the world. So, I will not generalize but stick to my story.

On an average, a cameraman stays away from home for 250 days in a year. Missing and forgetting birthdays and anniversary is not an issue at all. But, missing out on the birth of your first child?  My hubby had come down to Bengaluru from Ahmadabad to be with me at the time of my first delivery. But, the actual delivery did not happen on the day it was supposed to, so he went ahead and agreed for a day’s shoot. And that very morning my daughter decided that she has had enough of the warmth and security of my womb and took the decision to step out into this world. Professionalism and commitment made my husband to proceed to his work. What about his commitment to me? Of course, my parents, my in-laws and few family members were with me. But, what is the point? The person whom you love, the person who is going to be a dad for the first time, the person responsible for that very life, isn’t there to witness the beautiful and memorable moment??

My friend, Mangala, also went through a similar situation. Like any other profession there is a lot of competition in this field too. So, freelancers cannot afford to miss out a contract or an assignment or so they say. So, her husband went ahead to cover the Cricket World Cup in South Africa. She was in the last term of her pregnancy and her mother was there with her and of course some friends. She had to rush to the hospital as the circumstances required urgency, she got herself admitted to the hospital, her twins were delivered by C section and when the effect of anesthesia wore off, she called her husband to share the good news. She also informed her family and friends one by one…and as it was 1^st April and as she herself was calling up, everyone thought it was a joke! Today, she is bringing up her twins who are adorable, intelligent and very naughty, single handedly without any external help, not even a maid…just with true grit. Good going girl!

It so happens that some months after the birth of your baby, the dad comes home and says to his child- “Hey, look at you….you are all grown up! Last time I saw you, you were crawling and now, you are walking all over the place!” TO CRY OR NOT TO CRY!!! Like other family members and friends he has to be content watching the photos and videos of the milestones his baby has reached.

International Women’s Day came and went. Women have had lot more empowerment over the years. But, on March 8^th, a girl, Radhika Tanwar, was gunned down in front of her college by her stalker in Delhi. A day later, Nidhi Gupta, CA by profession, jumped to her death after throwing her kids from the 19^th floor of her building. Elsewhere in Kerala, a mother sold her 1 year old baby for Rs. 50,000/-. Some things remain the same even after 100 years. Ain’t this life?

“Women deliver more than babies” – Jill Sheffield.

Role playing comes naturally to woman. There are times when I say, ‘try me’, and then there are times when I want to shout, ‘let me be’. Of course, I do feel frustrated at times, I rant and rave, complain and fight. Next, I am back to the square one!

“The greatest part of our happiness depends on our dispositions, not our circumstances” – Martha Washington.

My dad, whenever he is here in Mumbai, interacting with his grand kids often comments, “I don’t know how you guys (me and my brother) grew up. I don’t remember anything from your childhood. I was so busy with work and your mother never burdened me with the household issues. Today, I regret missing out on your childhood.”

Men beware when you are old and have time to spare; your kids will be busy elsewhere! It doesn’t matter how many matches you covered or how many assignments you had. Will you remember the time you got to spend with your loved ones? One day, you will come back home, look at your wife and say –“Hey, look at you…you have changed so much! Last time I saw you, you were young…now you have grown old!”