THE NEST

The little one is flapping its wings…wanting to be set free. Well, everyone is born free. It will take a little more time for the young one to taste the independence, and the impatience seems to be growing by the day. Mama bird watches from the branch above. She knows in some time she has to set her young ones free. The thought itself brings about a tug in her heart. But, she encourages them…she is indeed proud of the way they have grown into fine young birds. The nest is getting smaller for them, and she knows she will be the one to lead them when it is time.

I am feeling unusually low. Is it menopause? I wonder. No luck there, it is just that my kids are not at home and I am missing them. I really thought I would enjoy the peace with the kids away for the day. I thought I have the whole day for myself and I will do whatever I feel like doing...ended up doing nothing at all. I did watch a movie on my computer, but it was a half hearted effort. I missed the bickering, the fights, the general chaos, my son hitting his football over the din of the TV volume….these are in fact the MELODIES which make a house a home! But, that day the silence was deafening!

The kids are growing up fast…my daughter, being the eldest of the two, has tested the waters. She got a cell phone when she was 12, was allowed to go out with friends and commute by rick all alone, the little perks you get for being the elder one. My son says we are discriminating. The youngest is always the pampered one…and will remain the youngest forever!

Of the parents, it is the father who is the paranoid one! If the kids are 5 minutes late from tuition class, he just doesn’t worry; he panics! And, it is quite natural that the father is overprotective towards the kids. I am the more patient one. I will panic only after the 6^th minute….joking. I do understand the need of the kids to be on their own. So, it was no surprise when I agreed to send my son along with his friend to the school in a rickshaw without any of the respective parent accompanying, of course the dad was not in town to stop me ( yeah, but was calling up to check every half an hour ). The look on my younger one’s face as he returned from the school was worth seeing – he felt like a man. He is ready to drop the crutches. He is ready to take the baby steps towards independence…but, are we ready to let him be?

One more year and my daughter will be in college. College means more freedom and dating too! I am sure her dad will appoint a ‘Z category’ security to be around her all the time. My son will be in high school and will be embarrassed to be seen with his parents in public.  Pathetic, han?

When we moved from Ahmadabad to Mumbai, my personal world shrunk a lot. Given my hubby’s erratic work schedule, it was (and still is) just the three of us. I reveled in being hands on mom. I did not expand my world then. Now, it is not just the kids, who want to drop the crutches, I too am ready to drop mine. Even I am spreading out my wings and expanding my world….blogging for instance. Of course, I will have a lot more time with kids away from home, to do whatever I want, like learn pottery or Salsa. But, for now, the kids are safe in the cocoon. The day is not far off when they will transform into beautiful butterflies and fly away. I know, difficult as it may seem, I will let them go.  Maybe then, the pain of menopause will be more welcome than the heaviness of the heart!