" MARKS" DON'T MAKE YOU.

Sitting in a restaurant having breakfast, I can’t help but laugh. My kids are like – “What???” Nidhi has just got her exams results and she had just crawled through in Math. Being a math illiterate myself; well, not entirely…I know elementary math- addition, subtraction, tables...Etc; I can understand that everyone doesn’t have an aptitude or interest for math and science. Nidhi has topped in her class in two other subjects and so she is a hard worker, I know that.

My daughter’s friend, can play 12 instruments, can sing, dance, act, mimic all at the age of 15 and yet he failed in 9^th! Does this mean that he is a failure? This is just one such example. The movies, 3 Idiots and Tare zameen par, would not have been such huge hits if people did not understand or agree with the subject. But, seriously, how many parents have really learnt from them?

Couple of years ago, our family friend’s son took off from home as his mother had forced him to take up Science in college. He wanted to pursue Hotel Management.  After about 10 days, they received a call from the Manager of a hotel in Mumbai, saying that their son was working with them as a waiter! It was sheer luck that my husband was in town. So, late in the night he went to that Hotel and brought the kid to our home. His parents arrived, convinced him and took him back to Bangalore. But, he was forced to go to the same college and study the same subjects. He refused to take 2^nd PU exams. Two years of time and money down the drain.

I am not against education. But, I am against the current system of education prevailing in India. The filtering of students, the studious ones from the weak ones are done while admitting them to the 9^th grade itself. (Actually, the planning for the child’s future starts with its conception itself!) All that the school authorities are concerned with is the reputation of the school. They have to boast of a 100% results in the board exams.

I have never been able to understand the type of parents who during the PTA’s, bring the textbooks, notes, worksheets et al and keep on discussing with teachers on and on. Some parents send the child’s Tutor to attend the meeting or sometimes bring them along. If your child has serious learning problem then it is OK, it is also fine to be concerned with your child’s studies, but many just go overboard. I, for one, cannot spend more than couple of minutes with the kids’ teachers. Tell me if they have disciplinary problem or misbehaving in the class…studies is something where I clearly know my kids’ limitations and I have hired professionals to tutor them, so why burden myself unnecessarily?

I am not saying that my way is the right way or the other parents are wrong. To each his own. But, I try to put myself in my kids place and try to think like them and try to do what’s best for them. And yet, my husband thinks I am an enforcer! The kids who have flunked the exams feel so inadequate and humiliated that they are forced to leave the school. They have to unlearn a lot of things learnt over the years…unlearn being with their old friends, unlearn the way of teaching they were used to, unlearn the comfort of the school environment and again they have to learn the new ways, make new friends, get used to the new school environment….cope, cope, cope. Kids tagged as failures, do not really fail in life; some merely end theirs!!

“Give them some sunshine,

Give them some rain,

Give them a chance to grow up just fine.”