Rach writes -http://rachaelharrie.blogspot.com/2011/09/first-campaigner-challenge.html ,in 200 words or less to write a short story/ flash fiction excluding the title. It can be in any format, including a poem. Begin the story with the words ‘The door swung open’, which will be included in the word count. If you want to give yourself an added challenge use the same beginning words and end with the words ‘the door swung shut’ also included in the word count.
Entries for first campaigner will close on 9th September ‘11. So, link up and write your story. And yes, there are amazing prizes to be won.
The (last) touch.
The door swung open. She was sitting there, by the window on her rocking chair staring into nothingness. Not even a flicker as I near her. Only a slight pause in the rocking which resumes to my annoyance. No smile, no memories, no thoughts and no hope. Only a dying brain. It was as if she was suspended in time. Her immobile mind had no past or future.
Alzheimer’s had killed it all – her mind, her spirit, her life; and with her ours too. We felt orphaned even when she lived, a wasted life. She was once the best mom one can wish for.
Mom had held the family together. Now, without her towering presence of life which was dwarfed and dimmed by the disease, we were disintegrating. Maybe, we could not handle the stress. Initially, she had been brave, replacing it with anger, then dejection and finally nothing. Wish I could fell nothing. She vegetated in a vegetative state. It was painful for us, the family.
Today, I talk to her. Rambling on. Yet, nothing. I say goodbye tI realize that it is for the last time. As I walk out, the door swung shut.
The is so sad and deeply powerful! Great work, Janu. :)
ReplyDeleteA terrible disease, painful to all surrounding the one afflicted with it. Heart wrenching. But the conciseness of it makes it powerful. Very touching!
ReplyDeleteThanks Carrie and Sonia for stopping by and appreciating me.
ReplyDeleteI've lost two family members to this and it's nearly impossible to describe the true horror of it. This was tough for me to read, but I'm so glad I did. Well done. You did a great job of capturing something so raw.
ReplyDeleteSorry for you loss, The East Coaster. And thanks for the appreciation.
ReplyDeleteVery 'real-life' vibe to your entry. As a few other comments say, powerful. ~ Nadja
ReplyDeleteThis was quite sad but very realistic. Great job!
ReplyDeleteVery tragic story :( I'm sure a lot of people out there can relate to this.
ReplyDeleteAhaaa that’s a new form of challenge and you seemed to have crossed the hurdles quite smoothly :P
ReplyDeleteSuch an awful disease. Well done. Mine is #72
ReplyDeleteNadja - My mom passed on some years back and it was because of the disease ALS. The pain felt here is real. Thanks for dropping by. xx
ReplyDeleteAlleged Author and Trisha.....Thank you.
ReplyDeleteBridgestraub.com- Thanks for dropping by and appreciating...will surely read and vote for you.
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ReplyDeletethe gud thing abt alzheimers s that the pt never knows that he/she has the disease..its the by-standers that have to bear the pain of this cruel disease...
ReplyDeleteVery touching and sad. This is a nice piece. Thanks for dropping by and commenting on my entry. Best of luck!
ReplyDeleteWell written!
ReplyDeleteNikhimenon and Mary Mary - Thanks....:)
ReplyDeleteThanks Sibi.
ReplyDeletenice.. so touching.. :( keep posting!! :)
ReplyDeleteoh, this was so sad... you really drew me in.
ReplyDeleteI really felt the disconnect between the MC and the woman who was once his/her mother. You handled such a sad disease in a poignant way.
ReplyDelete@Shreya - Thank you.
ReplyDelete1000th.monkey - thanks
AveryMarsh - Thank you too.
Wow! Great description. I work with alzheimers patients and it is heartbreaking.
ReplyDeleteI wrote a blog post called "The Forgotten Women" for http://www.womenontheverge.net check it out if you have a chance. It is a great support site as well!!
http://www.doreenmcgettigan.com