|
| My contribution for Indian Fiction Workshop
The plot of this story can be found here.
16 th March:
“I hate to leave you here…in this…asylum” and I hugged Sandhya
fiercely. It was as if I was clinging for my dear life. I cupped her
face in my hands and looked into her teary, sad eyes. “Let’s not do
this. The Ministry, the campaign and elections are not important than
you.”
My heart went out for her. She looked so vulnerable, she was. She
looked like a ragged doll…her beautiful dark eyes were forlorn now.
Once bright with love, they now gleamed with tears…stabbing my heart.
It has been a cruel turn of events. The opposition has plotted against
me. I, along with my advisers have come to this decision, that it
would be in the best interest of both Sandhya and myself, that she
stay in the facility till the elections are over.
“It’s hard for both of us Deepak. We shall not let them win or get
away with it. I will be fine, will miss you loads though. Do what you
have to do. It’s just a matter of days and then we won’t look
back…promise!”
The recent events are trying and testing for both of us. More so on
Sandhya, given her mental state and I have to keep her away from the
media and the madness it has created, at a place where she is safe.
And this had been her home for 3 years….
****************************
Sandhya:
As I watch Deepak drive away, and with nothing better to do, I
recollect my first meeting with him, our romance, the courtship days
and now, our two-year marriage.
I was in the final year of Masters in Mass Communications. As a part
of my project work, I had to interview a politician and choose Deepak,
an upcoming, young and dashing politician. I was to stay with him for
a week and prepare a record of his political growth and popularity
among the masses.
The day of my first appointment with him, I had to wait for a good
couple of hours for him to emerge from a meeting, by the end of which
I was beginning to get irritated. Deepak, as he arrived, sensing my
irritation, immediately put me at ease with his charm. Wasn’t it his
USP? And he was not like a typical politician in white dress…in fact;
he looked more like a businessman in his formal attire. And boy! Was
he tempting?
During the next 6 days I accompanied him wherever he went …party
meetings, public appearances, press conference announcing his
candidature and I had the privilege of meeting his mother and two
elder brothers. They belong to the Zamindhar family. His mother and
brothers with their respective families stayed in their ancestral home
in the village. They were visiting Deepak then.
They were cool…ummm…ma is very nice. Wish I could be with her now. Sigh!
I also accompanied Deepak to a village, as a part of his campaign.
What truly touched me was his empathy towards the people there.
Why did I fall for him in the first place?
His easy smile for one. I remember, when a lady blessed him, he
actually blushed. I had also seen his eyes wet with tears when he
listened to the problems of the people. Though, a Zamindhar, his
humbleness with people tugged the strings of my heart. He distributed
clothes not as a party worker, but in his personal capacity. It was a
treat to converse with him; he could talk about anything or
everything, at the end of which I always emerged feeling wow!
I saw a very human side of Deepak, which was hidden from the world, a
part of him only a few knew. I was privileged to be a part of his
intimate world.
By the end of that week, I did not feel like going back to the hostel.
I did not feel like leaving Deepak. I was head over heels in love with
him…. still am. Falling in love - nothing grand happened, trumpets did
not blow, no thunderbolts from the sky, just that the world around me
got rosier. Deepak took me out for dinner that evening. It was there
that he confessed his feelings for me.
I still remember the way he stammered…(the orator he was!) as he said,
”Sandy…umm, I…sorry if I am hurting you…aaa…I have a confession to
make. I have grown to like you…in fact, you are all that I would want
in a life partner…aaaa…I mean…I think…no – no, I am sure I am in love
with you.” And had proposed marriage, just like that! I could not
believe my good luck. Was I overwhelmed and on cloud nine! What
followed was a whirlwind romance. We got married right after I
completed her Masters.
Given his busy schedule, he did sneak some time out to meet me every
now and then. That by itself was endearing …he truly made me feel like
a princess. Simple and thoughtful gifts to make me feel precious, that
showed he cared.
These two years has been bliss. I became his number one supporter and
confidant. I have been helping him in his campaign and providing
valuable suggestions that did help him. Deepak not only loves me but
also respects me for the feedback, inputs and ideas I give. Life could
not have been better, until…
******************************
*
Am I exhausted? Mental exhaustion is taking its toll on me. How did it
all come to this? Hope everything will go as planned and we come out
of this unscathed. I want to sit and relax, but the thoughts keep
haunting me.
I can still visualize it all too well when Sandhya came to my office
in a rage. Was it yesterday? No. Must have been the day before…God! Am
I losing track of time? The shock must have been evident when I saw
her. Had never seen her like that. I almost could not recognize her
rage-contorted face. She was screaming …her eyes glazed. Most of what
she was saying was beyond my comprehension. In one swift move, she
swiped the desk, knocking everything at once. The pile of files, my
laptop, and our framed pictures amongst other things; everything fell
on the floor smashing glass and sending them flying everywhere. All I
did was look, with my mouth open. It was as if she was possessed.
I had to call in a couple of my staff to subdue her. The way we had to
bundle her up in the car and take her home, I pity her now. The doctor
had been informed and had arrived shortly after we took her home. She
had to be given a sedative.
I asked Lakshmi bai, whether she knew the cause of Sandy’s breakdown.
Had Sandy said anything to her? Any clue would be helpful to me.
“Saab, I collected a letter from the postman and gave it to madam. She
opened it. Was staring at it for sometime. She went white, as if she
had seen a ghost! Deva re deva, I was scared, got her a glass of water
to drink. She just threw the glass on the floor. By the time I
realized what was happening, she was out of the door. I don’t know
your phone number, saabji, so, I did not know how to contact you or
tell you. What’s the matter with her? Will she be ok? Evil eyes of
people, saabji."
“Is that letter around?”
“She threw it somewhere, saabji.”
I found it underneath the living room couch. Holy cow! How could this
be? A picture of me and Diana kissing? Who could have?
How can I explain this to Sandhya?
*******************************
The night I found the photograph -
I woke up disoriented and groggy. It took me a moment to get my
bearings. 12.50am! Instinctively I feel the bed on my right, the side
where Deepak sleeps. It’s empty! “Where is he?” As I turn to my left
to get up, I see him by my side …on the rocking chair, now sleeping –
with a book open on his lap, his reading glasses half way through his
nose, mouth slightly open as he snores softly. I remove his glasses
and the book, placing them on the table next to the bed. Covering him
with a quilt, I kiss his forehead softly.
I am hungry. As I make coffee…I realize I am a nervous wreck. Opening
the cupboard, I pop my anti-anxiety pill. Is it working? Even, if it
does, I have no clue. Feeling guilty as hell. I need to tell him. If
not now, then I never will. Poor D.
How can I control the shaking of my hands? God! Don’t let me go insane
now. Have been there, done that…do not want to go through the hell
again.
Walking back to the bedroom, I sit on the floor, by Deepak’s feet.
Taking his hand in mine, careful not to wake him, I start my
confession.
“Deepak, I don’t know if I will be able to tell you this when you are
awake. I know I should have told you about myself, long time back.
Somehow, I could not bring myself to say it…I was guilty and
embarrassed about my past. I am an orphan, is a lie. My parents are
very much alive.” By now my tears were flowing freely, as if they had
finally found a much needed release.
“I was 10 years old when my parents divorced. Even when they were
married, they used to fight constantly. They tried to give their
marriage a chance because of me. It was not working out. Both of them
were miserable. After the divorce, I found myself in the middle of a
bitter battle of custody. My dad had lost his parents earlier in life.
And, my uncle refused to take me in. My mom’s dad was in an old age
home with Alzheimer’s. With no one to take care of me, I was placed
in a foster home. Was supposed to be there till the verdict from the
court was issued.
It was a living hell! I was mentally and physically abused…all the
children were made to sweep and mop the floor, only when the warden
was satisfied, we would get our food. The older children bullied us
and targeted us for their pranks and cheap kicks. They beat us up if
we did not do their share of the job. By the time, I realized what was
happening, I found myself in a mental institution and a year had gone
by…a year had gone by D and I wasn’t even aware. I was neurotic,
that’s what the doctors said. It was caused by the extreme emotional
distress I had faced. It took me couple of years to get back my
self-worth, my confidence and my will to live…like a baby, I had to
learn step-by-step. It took longer to trust people.
Dr. Ranade was instrumental in reforming me, treating me and curing
me. He was a father figure to me. A NGO took up my case, traced my
parents and called them. If I was looking for an emotional reunion, I
was a fool! They did not even look at me in the eye. They did not even
acknowledge my presence! My own parents, D…they did not even feel
sorry for me, for what they did to me. They both had remarried
respectively, and had family of their own. They disowned me. And
walked out just like that. They did not feel anything Deepak, nothing!
Was I so pathetic? Why? I could not understand their selfishness D.
Wasn’t I better off dead. It was Dr. Ranade’s affection and the love
of the staff that I did not relapse. The same NGO sponsored my
education, gave me accommodation and a part time job. I owe it to a
lot many people for what I am today, D…and as for my parents…I learnt
to disown them too.”
I am sobbing now…”How could I tell you all this, Deepak? This is so
embarrassing…I am sorry baby.”
I felt my hand squeeze. Scared, I looked up. “I know Sandy, have known
it for some time now.”
******************************
“Remember, I was the Chief Guest at a Hospital opening ceremony? It
was there I met Dr. Ranade. In fact, it was he who came up to me after
the inaugural function. He asked me whether I remembered him from my
wedding day.” I said – no.
“He then asked me about your health, whether you were taking your
medicines properly. When I registered blank…he excused himself and
went on his way. I sought him and we talked…and that’s when told me.”
“Sandy, you have been through a lot, wish I was there to share your
pain. I did not have the heart to ask you or tell you that I know. You
don’t have to be guilty of not telling me. I love you anyway…that’s
the truth.”
“Now, let’s talk about the photo. Shall we?” I sit down on the floor
facing Sandy. Taking her hands in mine, I squeeze them… “Diana was my
classmate in college. She was my girlfriend too. This photo was taken
on her birthday. We broke up in the final year. Since college, I have
not been in touch with her. Nor am I aware of where she is now. This
has got nothing to do with my present, our present life. These sorts
of things are bound to happen. Given the circumstances, people will
only try to defame me and question my credibility as a contender for
election. Everything is fair in love, war and politics. Sandy, the
games that are played in politics will destroy lives of people
involved. They will go to any length, stoop very low for power. Please
understand this Sandy; let’s not let this spoil our lives. We are good
for each other. I don’t want to lose you. I am surprised that this
photo did not make its way to the newspapers."
We hugged, talked for hours and had come up with the decision.
**************************
22nd March –
Deepak was driving to the facility. In these 5 days, he had visited
Sandhya only once. The voting process had concluded the previous day.
Counting of votes was scheduled for next day…a good day to be together
when the results were announced. Their wedding anniversary was a week
away. He was smiling and had planned to surprise Sandy with a holiday.
The reservations made, he was already looking forward to it.
His mobile rings. It’s Sandy.
“ Hey, baby.”
“Yo! Partner, how are you? Wassup?”
“I love it when you talk like that baby. Just give me 10 minutes…wanna
die in your arms today, sweetie.”
“Yeah, sexy, ready to tango with you.”
“Hahahaha….”
KAAARAAAASSSSHHHH……..
Like her name, her mind dimmed forever. True to his words, Deepak had
died in her arms, the light gone forever from her life. The last sound
her sane mind heard was the sound of his laughter. Sandhya never left
the asylum.
|
