Friday, November 11, 2011

dVERSE POETS PUB - MEETING THE BAR: CRITIQUE AND CRAFT - PROSE TO POETRY.


Claudia, at the dVerse Poets Pub has asked us to stretch ourselves a bit by offering a prose to poetry challenge.

 FINDING ME.




Dream
Dream
Dream
Was all I did.
Harboured them,
Nourished them,
I walked with them,
Played with them,
Lived and experienced them,
…All in my mind.
Holding back from
Walking the walk,
Talking the talk,
Fearing for the sake of fear.
Until they threatened
To erupt, cripple
And frustrate me.
I let ‘one’ out,
Tentatively, tenderly,
Gingerly, I felt it.
Oh! What a feeling it was!
I let them all out
One by one,
They embraced me,
Filled me with purpose,
Gave a new persona, an
Identity unknown.
I had live them before
I was living them now
Mirroring a ‘renewed’ me.


“As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path we must think over and over the kind of thought we wish to dominate our lives.”
HENRY DAVID THOREAU.

Re-written in poetic form by me –

As a single footstep will not
Make a path on the earth,
So a single thought will not
Make a pathway in the mind.

To make a deep physical path,
We walk again and again,
To make a deep mental path
We must think over and over

The kind of thoughts
We wish to dominate our lives.

16 comments:

  1. Beautiful and insightful. great work. <3

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  2. Janu,this is one of your best pieces I have read,I am in a daze,just savoring the words,soaking in its beauty...keep writing,its a pleasure to read what you write.

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  3. I love these lines...

    "I let ‘one’ out,
    Tentatively, tenderly,
    Gingerly, I felt it."

    And the quote is wonderful. We really do become what we we spend our time thinking and believing.
    (suzy @ somewhere a melody) stopping by from D'Verse

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  4. so true...and well expressed..love your idea of harboring and nourishing our dreams and them embracing and changing us...and love that you took the THOREAU quote..wise man..

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  5. Janaki, your poem is enchanting, love it.

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  6. Janu, this was oh so inspiring this morning. I love the dream poem...and it's true, that living our dreams gives our life so much meaning.
    I also loved the Thoreau piece...I need to practice walking and thinking high things that add to my art and soul.
    Peace,
    Leah

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  7. love the feeling of release in your version, the birthing of that renewal is definitely felt...and you made me look at Thoreau in a new way...

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  8. Important words, and the structure gave them even stronger presence.

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  9. what a great poem on dreams. letting them out is lovely for the soul.

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  10. Janu, what lovely rhythm this poem has! It hit every point of the original quote and stretched it out poetically. Very nice!

    http://lyricfire.typepad.com/lyric-fire/2011/11/lyric-fire-nolanas-for-november.html

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  11. Thank you everyone for visiting, commenting and liking my poem.

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  12. Great selection in the Thoreau! I love how contemporary and alive your transformation sounds/reads! Great re-crafting of this! Thanks for taking the challenge. Very well done!

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